The air was thick and strong- the ghouls in the atmosphere were waiting for me to pray
To catch me by the tongue and throw me down on my knees since I can’t believe- I can’t believe
That they still have a hold on me after a long time and after that long scream.
They know- they know that between the streets of this city
I have locked my sadness, behind those buildings that are overwhelming
In the belly of the beast, that’s where I’ve been, that’s how it’s called- where-
I’ve been sitting all that time but I couldn’t notice since I was blind- no light
I am teaching myself how to be solemn and awake- how to be not tempting and not electrified
Even though I’ve lost all the blood I got- queen of pain and king of shame-
I am unfolding all the painful parts and the ghouls are eating them with rush- violent place to be
Somethings- sometimes- you forget them and you don’t wanna be there again
You let them to leave in order to live-
you let them live in order to breathe
However, you’re lucky since you can see the sky with the stars-
The roof in this building is where I have my heart locked- it seems too painful having it disconnected
Uncurling your life in a material world seems to be unorthodox but I can’t live if I don’t breathe
The cathedrals are making me pray and if I do all the ghouls are coming back
I am teaching myself how to see the monuments of pain- you can see the sun and touch it
If you wanna get burned and be shocked by the endless pain
Stubborn- that’s what I’ve been all this time
Even though I’ve been locked I couldn’t see what I’ve been missing
My heart wasn’t there and it was- it was that feeling of no time
Somethings you have to give it all- somethings you let behind in order to see
All around me- the world is collapsing and I am trying to find the meaning
Between the words and the feelings but I lost the meaning while I was sipping.
And the pills and the drinks are all over the floor- my body is all across the world-
The ghouls are holding on- still- but I don’t want them to let go- or do I want?
I was wet on the doors of the cathedral- washed all over-
I was feeling them touching my heart- playing with my heart- scratching my flesh
They are playful when they don't hurt/ I wish I could over this but I can't
I wish I can wash them away but I can't wash them away
The doors are too heavy for me to enter the place but they are open by them
since they know I'll pray- they are ready for the sweet crying game.