Showing posts from September, 2015

// in the end, will you sink or will you float? //

where have you been when i needed you? where have you been wasting your time all this time? was it between nightmares or sweet chilly dreams?

i gave it all and i got nothing in return  and i see the end, but what happens?  will you sink or will you float? i am afraid of the red lights i am on my knees dreaming and every breath it's like a sin i needed you the most but you turned away
where is everyone that was there for you? where are those people who picked you up when you were at your worst? are they between your reality and your sweet lies?
even if i didn't go too far, i have gone far enough to look back and see no one behind, just an empty road with no people and i am turning inside out, all the time, i am inside out
when you were blind i paved the paths for you i gave you attention and everything you asked for- while i was around people but i was empty like now
where are they when you need them? i see signs all over the place  i see signs all over the sky i see signs all…

Cruelty at 21:44/ 20*0915-

it' so crazy- i can't face it- it's unbelievable what i feel
i feel free when i see no one in the streets
i feel wild when i swim by myself in the night
i feel so content when i sleep by your side
i feel so tired, god knows i tried to take it back together.

sometimes i wake up- during the night- looking around to see
-to see if you are here- if i am still in California-
but, i got nothing and i am still in my empty place-

lies and lies all around me/ no full faces
i tried and i know i failed for one more time
but i've learnt- i've learnt after i burnt;

we are two sided mirrors, we show one side of ourselves
to the world and we show the other one to ourselves in the dark
when we are alone- so i prefer to be in places since i don't-
i don't have to see my catastrophic and intensive faces.

don't let them tell you words- light them up-
don't let them play you Mozart in the night.
it makes your heart vulnerable and they kill for something vulnerable
my …

summer love/ i am yours and it feels so good

tip toeing on the floor to not make a sound
you sleep and it looks so perfect to destroy
such a beautiful thing

there are no words to say to you
just a look in the eyes and i understand-
you understand what it takes to come to you

backwards we go in our dreams but we rewind
in the morning breeze when we see the cloudy sky-
you have my back and i have yours

there are no feelings to show to you
just a touch on my skin and you take the keys-
you have the keys to my universe

rewinding and rewinding the present
in the night when we sleep we see the dark sky-
you have the keys and i have yours within me

my heart is the only thing that's keeping me back
my heart is the only thing that's valuable-vulnerable
i am afraid to talk about it

but by the way
we use to crawl like babies to each other
even though we make circles we don't care

we have something more right now
we don't understand what it's coming next
but you don't care and neither do I
let's see the sunshine…

Love for another - A letter to a friend

to love another with your body- to feel their hands all over it- to touch their souls and, they, touch yours- to love another with your mind- to feel whole again- like you belong to a home- to be more concerned about them than you- to love another with your whole heart- to fill the spaces between their fingers- to be the one that day dreams in black and white drinking salty water- dehydrating hot heart making it so hard to stay alive drinking salty water- to burn the wounds you have inside dehydrating your body, mind and heart making it so hard to breathe at night when you sleep by yourself to see a cloudy day and smile because you feel more comfortable in chaos than in peace to see a moody town and try stay alive because the ground shakes and the buildings sway if you cry and, so, you see the boats sail to different islands- to another island- faraway from where you are you are left behind those bridges that somehow get burned when you smile and, so, you wave at those that you …


The air was thick and strong- the ghouls in the atmosphere were waiting for me to pray To catch me by the tongue and throw me down on my knees since I can’t believe- I can’t believe That they still have a hold on me after a long time and after that long scream. They know- they know that between the streets of this city I have locked my sadness, behind those buildings that are overwhelming In the belly of the beast, that’s where I’ve been, that’s how it’s called- where- I’ve been sitting all that time but I couldn’t notice since I was blind- no light
I am teaching myself how to be solemn and awake- how to be not tempting and not electrified Even though I’ve lost all the blood I got- queen of pain and king of shame- I am unfolding all the painful parts and the ghouls are eating them with rush- violent place to be Somethings- sometimes- you forget them and you don’t wanna be there again
You let them to leave in order to live- you let them live in order to breathe However, you’re luc…