Showing posts from 2015

LND 111114

Why the water is so dark? Under the bridges we spoke all of our misspoken words that we weren't allowed Why the seas are so blue? Under the bridges we dreamt of our future and I've seen it shine – I see it now.
How did we managed to build this same old love like when we were young? Does it have to do with all the bads we've seen in life or Does it have to do with all the ghouls we exorcised?
I feel the humid overcoming us – why are we so apart? Distance is like a trial we have to go through for a last time,
like the ones in the past that were creating a hurricane in our hearts. But now, it's like, silence’s screaming is so loud when I lay my body in the empty room- and the golden light doesn't fall upon us when we speak through lines
Why the water is so dark? I stupidly keep on asking - like you have to know - I just can’t stop with you - you make me smile when I am with you I feel my heart beating so fast like the words that travel through the old telephone lin…

Holy Water

Holy water - wash my sins away,
thousands of ghouls are taking over me.
Holy water- wash me down,
thousands devils are creeping under my skin,
Holy water- why can't i drink you?
Please, burn their kingdom down.

Erase their states- erase their towns,
they are all around me.
Erase their kingdoms- erase their towns,
they are all within me.

dead boys have blues
why can't i walk further from here?
dead boys have blues
why can't i see the sun setting from here?

All the devils built their kingdom in my heart-
all the ghouls are invited to the party they have.
Mother ship;

all of my love will be smoked out
all of my lust will be an aluminium song
it's a patronised soul the one i own.

holy water- why can't you listen me?
holy water- why can't you see me?
it's devastating all the ghouls dancing in my body

holy water- i am calling mother ship
the party is over but they are still chasing my heart
holy water- i am calling mother ship
to save me from all the devils i ow…

// in the end, will you sink or will you float? //

where have you been when i needed you? where have you been wasting your time all this time? was it between nightmares or sweet chilly dreams?

i gave it all and i got nothing in return  and i see the end, but what happens?  will you sink or will you float? i am afraid of the red lights i am on my knees dreaming and every breath it's like a sin i needed you the most but you turned away
where is everyone that was there for you? where are those people who picked you up when you were at your worst? are they between your reality and your sweet lies?
even if i didn't go too far, i have gone far enough to look back and see no one behind, just an empty road with no people and i am turning inside out, all the time, i am inside out
when you were blind i paved the paths for you i gave you attention and everything you asked for- while i was around people but i was empty like now
where are they when you need them? i see signs all over the place  i see signs all over the sky i see signs all…

Cruelty at 21:44/ 20*0915-

it' so crazy- i can't face it- it's unbelievable what i feel
i feel free when i see no one in the streets
i feel wild when i swim by myself in the night
i feel so content when i sleep by your side
i feel so tired, god knows i tried to take it back together.

sometimes i wake up- during the night- looking around to see
-to see if you are here- if i am still in California-
but, i got nothing and i am still in my empty place-

lies and lies all around me/ no full faces
i tried and i know i failed for one more time
but i've learnt- i've learnt after i burnt;

we are two sided mirrors, we show one side of ourselves
to the world and we show the other one to ourselves in the dark
when we are alone- so i prefer to be in places since i don't-
i don't have to see my catastrophic and intensive faces.

don't let them tell you words- light them up-
don't let them play you Mozart in the night.
it makes your heart vulnerable and they kill for something vulnerable
my …

summer love/ i am yours and it feels so good

tip toeing on the floor to not make a sound
you sleep and it looks so perfect to destroy
such a beautiful thing

there are no words to say to you
just a look in the eyes and i understand-
you understand what it takes to come to you

backwards we go in our dreams but we rewind
in the morning breeze when we see the cloudy sky-
you have my back and i have yours

there are no feelings to show to you
just a touch on my skin and you take the keys-
you have the keys to my universe

rewinding and rewinding the present
in the night when we sleep we see the dark sky-
you have the keys and i have yours within me

my heart is the only thing that's keeping me back
my heart is the only thing that's valuable-vulnerable
i am afraid to talk about it

but by the way
we use to crawl like babies to each other
even though we make circles we don't care

we have something more right now
we don't understand what it's coming next
but you don't care and neither do I
let's see the sunshine…

Love for another - A letter to a friend

to love another with your body- to feel their hands all over it- to touch their souls and, they, touch yours- to love another with your mind- to feel whole again- like you belong to a home- to be more concerned about them than you- to love another with your whole heart- to fill the spaces between their fingers- to be the one that day dreams in black and white drinking salty water- dehydrating hot heart making it so hard to stay alive drinking salty water- to burn the wounds you have inside dehydrating your body, mind and heart making it so hard to breathe at night when you sleep by yourself to see a cloudy day and smile because you feel more comfortable in chaos than in peace to see a moody town and try stay alive because the ground shakes and the buildings sway if you cry and, so, you see the boats sail to different islands- to another island- faraway from where you are you are left behind those bridges that somehow get burned when you smile and, so, you wave at those that you …


The air was thick and strong- the ghouls in the atmosphere were waiting for me to pray To catch me by the tongue and throw me down on my knees since I can’t believe- I can’t believe That they still have a hold on me after a long time and after that long scream. They know- they know that between the streets of this city I have locked my sadness, behind those buildings that are overwhelming In the belly of the beast, that’s where I’ve been, that’s how it’s called- where- I’ve been sitting all that time but I couldn’t notice since I was blind- no light
I am teaching myself how to be solemn and awake- how to be not tempting and not electrified Even though I’ve lost all the blood I got- queen of pain and king of shame- I am unfolding all the painful parts and the ghouls are eating them with rush- violent place to be Somethings- sometimes- you forget them and you don’t wanna be there again
You let them to leave in order to live- you let them live in order to breathe However, you’re luc…


I believed i could fly but i never noticed that my wings are only seen by my eyes,
i believed i could live in a world where i can stand alone in  this tough road
I believed i could be anything that i want but i never wanted to change for you.

the tides are changing, the time slips away
my ego is killing it and i can't breathe without you,
all this time the problem was me but i couldn't believe that
i couldn't resist to the other side that was calling me.

the heart beats so fast, it feels so much, it hurts and i can't
i wish the things weren't like that, weren't that hard
but the heart feels so much, it can't stop now,
it's too late to turn it down, too late to turn it inside out

and there's no dreams to blame, no fire to play
no tears to swipe this sadness i got inside
it's been too late to cover the pain
it's been so fake to feel again this way

the heart can't sleep, it always stays here, it always blames the things that can't say

Blues^ Scene 239/85-95

Scene 239/85-95
*a boy is sitting on the road, talking on the phone/ the streets are empty, the lighting is low, almost turned off. the boy is wearing black clothing and he is sad.

- I've been holding so tight my phone because I've been waiting for your call
- don't blame me, it's not my fault
- i wish I could call you but I can't
- i do that, everyday
- but I am not fine, my demons are fighting
- but I can't fill that void inside you
- whispers " I wish you could "
- hello? Are you still there?
- yeah.
- why do you do that to me?
- what do I do?
- it's not fair, you are not fair towards me
- life is not fair
- but it's not my fault
- i though that you could just save me but no one can save me but myself
- do you mean that I am not helping you?
- i mean that I am always alone- no one is really there, physically- here to help me.
- i told you to stay
- i am not that selfish to keep you here- away from what you love and what you need. This is lo…


believe me when i say i am tired
believe me when i say i've tried
believe me when i say i want it to over
cause all those clouds are dark and hollow
ain't raining or snowing
they are only carrying the emptiness to show
the nothingness i hold on so much

please don't leave,
i am tired of everyone pushing away their life
when they see the reality i got locked inside
please don't hold,
i am not the one that you should trust on things about life
cause i don't know a thing but to dissolve inside

i am not strong or tough
i am so soft and broken
i am crying all day
cause all those things are so dark and hollow
to carry on my back,
i can't hold on this ship anymore
it's going under and i am there

i am
standing there immobilized
dissolving into the dawn's cries but
you hold my hand and you whisper
-everything's gonna change if you wait just for one more time-
so much to say but i will wait forever for you love cause it's a dream

i don't wanna wake up…

The connector I

The mind:
praying underneath the bridges that i have burned in one night
nothing's left to hold me back so i break into the sunlight
i can't see it from here and it can't see me too.

it hides into the ocean creating an orange shadow

swimming home it can't be that hard
but if it's late the sun is an old stone now.

The connector:
the tears are so salty, you can't taste them
the tears are so salty, you can't hold them

it's so hard to be between two bodies,

one so strong and armed
the other so soft and smooth.

the thoughts are so weightless, you can hold them
the thoughts are so heavy, you are going under

The heart:
praying underneath the bridges that i have burned in one night everything's holding me by my teeth, so i turned into a hollow dream
you can't daydream here, you can't daydream within.

it creeps underneath the clouds
driving back home it can't be that hard
but if i take down every inch of this city, can i be forgiven at last?

The connector:
the hear…

Hospital Beds

Hospital Beds,
hospital beds full of sorrow and pain.
Hospital beds,
hospital beds full of madness and hate.

Lay me on the side where i can see outside,
inside those walls, my mind is trapped, between those lies.
My hospital beds are changing from time to time,
they get softer or harder,
brighter or darker,
but they still got that smell of hospital beds.

And if my feet don't touch the floor
i will try to close the door.
Perhaps, i know, i won't as those hospital beds,
like prison, they lock me and hold me.

Hospital Beds,
hospital beds full of sadness and cries.
Hospital beds,
hospital beds full of elders and toddlers.

And if i am against the wall by those pills,
i will try to look pretty.
Maybe, i know, i won't last till the last one,
maybe, i know, it went too far with changing hospital beds.

Hospital beds,
hospital beds so empty and loveless.
Hospital beds,
hospital beds full of nothingness at all.

And i remember when i first came here,
the skin was light and pretty,

Gods II

It doesn't matter if you're ready to trigger your guns, it has been known that you can't kill if you aren't loved. Suffering for this relief has made grief so smooth to sleep with it, all alone in the cutting hill of hope, where we all have been. Screaming noises we couldn't understand.
And if she had her guns triggered like Artemis had her arc, she was just wondering between the forests to save her life. And if she had her love triggered like Aphrodite had her heart, she was just wondering between the palaces longing her lust.
All that left is pain from the burned hills, and it is running deep in me as you give me away. In the heart of the river I flow like you did.
The skies turn from blue to black  as you gave away all your love,
there is not fortress that you could have kept it
so you gave in to the damage than holding on.

And if you had your guns ready to fire, you didn't have the pride,
the pride to walk the life of sanity to insanity.
And if you had you…

Gods I

You have the gun and the bullet proofs
but for how long do you think they will work for you?
A hypnosis of your own mind by your pit of lies,
don't need to hide it from me cause you can't hide it from you.

And if it's devastating why are you pretending?
Why are you pretending that you're overarmed
and you have Atlas' hands?
Is there any use?
Cause if it's devastating why are you pretending?

It's a battle on your own
you will be the winner or the loser
if you just waste this.
It's either this or the other way
you have to choose wisely so it won't fall on you
causing more pain.

Nor the kings or the queens will change this,
nor the Persephone or Hades will be here
to drive you to a different pace of peace.
Peace of mind you need.

And if I'm afraid of losing everything why am I still here?
Why am I still here in fear of breathing underwater
and be like this?
Why am I still here?

So much power in such shaky hands,
how do you trust all that you'v…

King's Speech II

It's not gonna be the same when I will break the chains
they were holding me from the very first day.
It's not gonna be the same when I will set free my pain
cause it was keeping me up with the same pace.

Her only son- she wanted more for his life
but the tables have been turned
waiting for king's speech.

Overcoming the oblivion as they are diving into sake,
come one, this is not what you want.
Stop singing all along the melody of your old soul.

The blues have turned to reds,
the sky has fallen on my feet.
I doesn't worth to leave it all.

Running all your life, away from the dissolving sand.
You are too afraid to walk straight to your way,
you have lived the damaged in between.
Abandoned in the sorrow that has been made for you by you.

Her only son- she wanted more for his life
but the currents have changed
waiting for king's speech.

The monument of love deep in your holistic soul has been burning
the flesh of our body, the one we have created
it's devouring i…

King's Speech I

Holding up for your call like a fool in a rolling 'n' smooth pool,
swimming in the holy water by the madness of release.
Holding up for your call so I can release the grief I drunk while I was
swimming in the holy water of oblivion.
I am tired of all the sorrow that I have inside my lungs.

Why do I have to be the one?
Why do I have to wait for the sun?
There are things that never sleep,
like me
Why do I have to sail by the wind's side?
Why do I have to wait for the sun?

Wreck that can't be shipped
all my faces are made of drinks
by the king's speech

Oh, my dreams are all so big,
somebody told me that I have a long scream
cause my eyes are so big and promising.
Tears are running deep.

Holding up for your call like I am the one who's missing me,
cut by the angles of your heart even though is not that tough.
Suddenly we are so rough by the damages that have been done.

Why do I have to be the last?
Why do I have to wait for the night?
There are things that always s…

Heretic Heart

Who'ss the one with the heretic heart?
He's an apostate of howls.
Who;s the one with the heretic heart?
He's a child of your lung's sounds.
Put off the fire to see the chaos.

Dark, endless and hollow
like the night's sky.
Turn to the one who has the fire.

Listen to the beating heart
Listen to the beating heart
while it gives blood to the lungs
while it gives blood to the lungs
breathe the air you now have
breathe the air you now have

cause it's so blue and it becomes so dark
cause it's so bright and it becomes so unlighted
it'a a hollowed pit of lies.

Who's the one with the heretic heart?
He's everywhere.
Who's the one with the heretic heart?
He's creeping underneath my lungs.
Put on the fire to see the chaos

Tested and burried 
divided and out.
You had the chaos locked but you gave in
and so you did
and so you did
unlocked the chaos

Put off the fire.
Put off the fire.
Put off the fire.
Puf off the fire, but not mine.

sunday showers

- i heard you talking in your sleep
- what? i mean, what i was talking about?
- i couldnt understand, it was more about you and the way you struggle with the things
- why you didnt wake me  up?
- i, i
- you let me suffer? you wanted to see if i will say something bad? something bad 'bout you?
- no, i just, i didnt know what to do, it was like a battle between yourselve and your own demons
- it was actually.
- what do you mean?
- i dreamt of
- what? would you tell me?
- i dreamt of me, in the eye of a huriccance, naked, all alone, the drops of the rain were touching my body and were travelling from my neck to my back and to my feet, through my eyes, my chest. I was alone, in despair, i was trying to move but i couldnt, then i was feeling all the electrified atmosphere and then i couldnt feel a thing. it was a turn on/off relationship between me and the nature, like the demons wanted to take over me but i didnt want to let them make me suffer again, i was trying hard but then the showers were …




the sinners are falling like stars while
the universe is so empty and hollow.
new beginnings and new endings on the edge of all
still i am wasting my time with uncontent people

as the paradigm of sun ashines in the lights and
like a bird in the sky flies and changes alight.

forming the repressed emotions into marionettes
dancing with them on the right and on the left
i am leaving everything behind as i dive into an abyss.

as the content of universe is hiding in the dark
like a shadows hits the ground and crumbles in the setting's angle.

i have been bound to love and i have been unbounded from you
it seems so easy to break the chains and fly but
i am leaving everyone to take a piece of me
form it, bend it, change it, drain it and shape it,
turn me from the one that i am to the one they want
from red to blue and from blue to black
to have all kinds of patterns to use
cause i have been unbound from all of you
and you will need to cover up and use.

as the paradigm is in the universe in the midlight

🌊 Salty and Sweet 🌊

A screen delighted the film inside, it was dark,it was blue and I was too.
Barefoot, I saw you, running towards the dawn. A mesmerizing feeling of plain pain
passed me through.
I felt the earth collapsing and I was falling
like Alice in the hole. Magical birds and cages too.  I wondered how it will be to swim,
the oceans and the tears are
falling from your eyes and landing on my face. I wore you and I can't stop, shadows life. In the light I kept running, my heart beat so intensivly
while I touched the ground.
Keep up, fall down, the starts are glowing in the dark. A galaxy in your heart and I am a shadow that dangles in the light.
It took me from the sky, it dehydrated me,
I came undone,
the water around me
started drowning me,
and I've tried to talk,
and I've tried to talk,
and I've tried to talk
but my mouth got full of water
and I dissolved in the lights of your love.
The dark, the light, the truth, the lies,
but I got lost in the midlight
in the sound of your love.