Solipsist 111702

Whispers "You kept me walking on a wire all this time – you thought I was against you
but, I was there to save what was left"
I was waving white flags for some reason but you thought that was a completion
of acting.
I felt sorry so many times for you but it seems you have never learnt the reasons.

I came undone and you drew the lines of my portrait -
I came undone and you drew the lines of my reflections.
You said you were going to be there to watch me growing,
but you drew me with the true colours you felt for me.
Red for my rage, black for my broken pieces and blue for the blues I was carrying.
You saw the good parts but you kept it for your own joy.

I chose my battles and I was ready for attack but then the tables have turned.
I realised that I don’t wanna fight any-more cause you were trying to hard but if
you would have been more concentrated and you have shown me that all this time
I was walking between the lines of truth and lies,
between the lines of pain and joy. I would have be thankful.
But you had to leave and me all alone to teach myself how to let it go.
I don’t know what to believe after all these visions,
perhaps I can't understand the meaning of life.

But, I have learnt the lesson after all, when the darkness came towards me like shots from your gun -
broken glasses on the floor and you got me on my knees - defeated.
All those white flags turned black since the bullets gone through my body – I got so many holes.
But I learnt that no-one can help me to survive if I can't do it on my own -
cause you can’t fill the holes all at once, even if you ask the others to fill your gaps;
you have to grow up and live with the chaos in your hands.

I may not fighting any-more cause I always knew that this fight was about love - but I know that my heart was keeping me wicked and I was acting like a stubborn - since then I let it go, made it change me for your love.
I mesmerized by your peace when I saw you on the field.
I turned me inside out – inside out and cried out the screams till they form a few words.

You though our games were grenades but there were misconceptions –
you didn't want to be the last one standing and you made it. 
You burned the flags and delivered your guns.
Subconscious solipsist in your thoughts like you knew what it would follow.

I am all here, seeing the flags waving as the wind blows through us – no reason to fight after all for love. It’s a solemn hour for us all – the nation is singing the national anthem to cease it all.
It was a curse like Kennedys’ but at least it is over now.
We all know, even you, there wasn't any disobey and that's why you last forever.

Goodbye – there wasn't a fight but love all this time, no weapons but love to take. 


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